Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Out of Body

Do you ever feel as if you are living your life out of body? There are times when I'm living life and I think, how did I get here exactly? How did I get to be the Mom who is driving carpool with 5 kids in the back? Or the Mom helping her 1st grader with homework? Or the one supervising piano practice? Or the one washing soccer uniforms?

What in the world?


It's as if I can see myself doing it, but it doesn't exactly feel like it is me. There are some days I really wonder how I got here. It's as if I've been driving the car of life and I don't really remember the route I took, I just know that I'm here. And it's baffling. And strange. And somewhat surreal.

18 comments:

The Small Scribbler said...

I don't know how I got here but I do know now that my kids are little older that I want to stop time and stay. I don't want to think about college applications and jobs and sons and daughters-in-law. NOW is good.

Kate

Sara@ Butterville said...

I totally understand. It is coming back to me slowly. I have been defined by what I do instead of WHO I am. That's really my fault I guess. But as the kiddos are getting older...I feel the restlessness and want to explore where the spirit leads. Remind yourself to take a break and connect with yourself.
You are Not just a carpooling, laundry doing watching all the practises woman. I see you. And you are BEAUTIFUL to me. Your heart is in your posts. And the randomness is just another thing life throws at us.

Jamie said...

I'm right there with you. It's hard to remember what happened to Jamie (or Alana) in the mommyness of it all.

Carissa said...

totally know that feeling...and it's freaky!

Celeste said...

I have that all the time!!

dawn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dawn said...

I deleted that comment. Man, I hate it when I don't proof read.

I do feel the same way, almost every day.

But I would not change a day of it.

Alana said...

I definitely wouldn't change it either. Sometimes it still seems strange that I'm an actual adult. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but sometimes it still takes me by surprise ;-)

Shelley said...

It's the whole..."Who are these kids? Where did they come from? Shouldn't someone be in charge of them?"...feeling. And yes, it happens to me quite frequently also. And not just the kids, but the husband, the house, the big SUV. Sometimes it seems like life just skipped ahead about 10 years. Crazy!

Laney-Lou said...

And what a GREAT person you never realized you could be! An AWESOME carpool driver, homework tutor, piano supervisor, and uniform perfecter!!

YOU WERE MADE TO DO THIS!!!

Janelle said...

TO.TA.LLY! Oh my. Don't really know how I got to be the mom with spit up on my shoulder, saggy boobs, a Ford Windstar with 3 windows that don't work complete with a VCR that doesn't work either.

But, it's my dream come true!

Growin' with it! said...

and how about mine: am i REALLY going to be 40 in 2 years? i hear ya sister. i hear ya!!!

Abigail said...

Yep, I'm with you.

JP's MOM said...

Since beiing on bedrest I have had PLENTY of time to have the same thoughts!

I mean when did I become the one expecting Twins?!

BethAnne said...

GIRL!!! IT is called being a mother!!!! I know exactly the out of body experience you are talking about...Busyness does this to you..UGH!!

Teresa said...

And that car just doesn't stop going!! :) Drink it in!!

Kenna Sue said...

Welcome to my world. Somewhat. There are days that I think: I'm divorced? Single mom? Dating again? How on earth did I get here? And why? How is it that I have a 12 year old girl wearing make-up now? And how quickly all these things happen! Just yesterday, it seems, I was stay-at-home mom with 3 children under the age of 4, buying diapers, baby food, breast-feeding! Stop the clock! Or at least slow it down!Boy, am I glad to know I'm not the only one out there with similar feelings.

Jennifer said...

Just tonight as the kids were clearing dinner dishes, John looked around and said, "do you remember when it was just the two of us? And now it's the bunch of us."
Disbelief - these people didn't use to EXIST!

And the answer is no, I don't really remember that. :)