Tuesday, September 9, 2008

A Bad Attitude

It has now been established that my metabolism is dead and has no plans to revive itself any time soon. How do I know this, you ask? The proof is in the pudding (sugar-free, of course). The Big D is just not producing the desired results. Nor is my exercise regimen which last week included SIX workouts. Yes, 1-2-3-4-5-6. Count them and weep. Or at least that's what I've been doing. Workouts that have included running, people. RUNNING! Those of you who know me in real life know just how desperate I must be to even speak that word, let alone act it out!

SO. Want to know how I did last week after dieting (I will confess to having ONE rough day with the eating) and working out SIX times? I gained 1.5 lbs. GAINED. Tell me how that is possible?!?!?! And I don't want to hear anything about how muscle weighs more than fat...blah, blah, blah. Or don't mind the number on the scale...blah, blah, blah. Or your metabolism slows down as you get older, yeah, yeah, yeah.

WHATEVER!!!

It also just so happens that the 1.5 lbs I gained this week is the amount I lost last week after 4 weeks of not one single budge on the scale. So, essentially? FIVE WEEKS of no progress.

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

(That's me screaming.)

AAAAACCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!

(That's me screaming again.)

So you can see now why I have not been posting much as of late. I knew if I did it would just be this emotional vomit. I guess if you are looking for something cheery and uplifting you should try another blog today. Because this stinks. Period. And yes, I realize that disclaimer would have been more helpful at the beginning of this post. Feel free to file a complaint.

(Pausing...)

(Taking a deep breath...)

Phew. That was not pretty, was it? Just count your blessings that you didn't have to experience my emotional vomit in real life like this friend did today. Thanks, Janelle.

I feel like those of you who stuck with me through all that spewing, deserve a little light at the end of the tunnel. So, I'll leave you with this. I AM NOT GIVING UP. I'm more convinced than ever that this is a spiritual battle for me and I know that the WINNER is on my side. The other guy needs to just give it up and GO HOME!

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

33 comments:

mark&beth said...

Wow. Actually, I'm saying that about being the first person to leave a comment! (I know...you probably have a bunch to read and haven't added them yet, and I'm not really the first one...but it seems like an accomplishment!)
Anyway, this is about you, and I'm SOOOO proud of you, Alana! I KNOW that these results STINK! UGH!! God knows that I've been right there...and I'm not much past that point. But, I always try to remind myself that the alternative to giving up the fight to be fit is, well, not comforting, either. So, keep plugging away. Each step of the way, you only learn MORE...more of what NOT to do, more of how your body responds, more of what your body needs, more things that you can still change and still try. And so you really ARE making progress. It's just that the scale doesn't reflect it YET. This is a process. And one that's well worth the effort and devotion. It's ok to get angry. To indulge out of rebellion. BUT...pick yourself up the next day, and decide again that you're stronger than this frustration.
Love you, friend! HANG IN THERE!!

Julianne said...

Alana,
You rock. Thank you for sharing your heart today. Press on, friend. You are right about the battle and it's not with the bulge! :) I want to encourage you to keep doing what you're doing and just muscle your body into submission! You can do it - you are tapped into the power of the God of the universe and a few lbs. are just no match for Him. Just don't lose too much and get all weak and fuzzy minded - I need a strong opponent for all my word games! (What am I saying? Waste away and let me have a chance, woman!)
I think you're great.
Peace.

Xandra@Heart-of-Service said...

Bless you heart! I have SO been there, and felt your frustration. Glad to hear that you are not giving up...you will be so glad in 3 months and you've lost 15 pounds! Hang in there...

Xandra

kittyhox said...

So frustrating!

I HATE it when people say muscle weighs more than fat. Whatever. When I go through all the trouble to exercise and diet I want to lose weight. Period.

I'm happy you're hanging in there because eventually, it will pay off. In the past it has helped me to think about a long term picture, like maybe 6 months. Also, are you keeping track of other things like your waist measurement or your BMI? It's always motivational to see that those usually go down, even when the evil scale does not.

Congratulations on the willpower it must have taken to run six days in one week!

Tiffani said...

Wow, I didn't mind reading your emotional vomit...I"m sure at some point we all have a little sickness on our blogs, too! But, good for you for not giving up!! Here's what I've decided about the Big D...

I no longer do "them".
They rule me if I do.
I make a conscious effort each minute, each meal, to eat little less and make a better choice.
I exercise several times a week.
I pay no attention to the time.
If I walk/run for 20 minutes, I wasn't sedentary.
If I do a 10 minute pilates workout...I increased my strength and other parts, too.

I want to be healthy...if skinny doesn't ever come but I am making an effort to be a healthy, active Mom for my kiddos--then I've accomplished something.

And I'm no skinny minny preaching here...I try to tell myself if a contestant on the Biggest Loser got down to my size, they would be so grateful and excited...so I accept that I may never be a size 8 or less, but I am a healthy, active Mom and I am okay with that...

so, be active and happy and we'll defy slow metabolism in the name of Jesus, together, okay?! :) Hang in there!

Shelley said...

Okay...so disregard the email I just sent you.

Please.

Obiviously I should have checked your blog first.

And you're right. This sucks. Did you say that? Well if not, I did. I am SO sorry that this has not gone well for you my friend.

I love that you identify this as a spiritual battle. Because it is. It SO is. And I love your scripture. Perfect.

...giving you a cyber-hug...

life with the wisners said...

keep on keepin' on.

because you inspire the rest of us.

see? He uses you for so many great and mighty things.

go alana! go God!

Teri~Facedown said...

Alana,
I am breaking a very bad rule just by being on the computer in the morning...it is bad.
Anyway, I woke up this morning from a dream and in my dream I was giving up on something and literally out of the clouds I heard "Go BIG or GO HOME!" So in my dream I was saying that to myself...I woke up saying it!
I am refueled to run this race with you girl. I had lost a few pounds (five) and gained back like three, with the SAME SCENARIO. (Eating well, exercising, yadda yadda yadda!) It about makes me crazy And I am not comfortable in my jeans. I am NOT buying new ones!
Ok, I'm done. Just wanted you to know that I am with you.

Jamie said...

Alana, You have inspired me to get off my rear and get motivated about something. I've been very sloth-like this week.

Teresa said...

Keep it up, my friend. I am right there with you, except that because I'm growing a little one, I'm not on "a diet". However, I am trying to eat healthy and exercise so I can have a fit-pregnancy and recovery will be easier!! :) Like I said... I'm right there with you.

WOW! Running? Really? That is motivation. You rock!

Growin' with it! said...

okay. i'm guilty. as i read this i was all pumped up to give you my dieting regimen. then i shut myself up and all i wanna say is...CHIN UP! (both chins in my case). i feel your pain girl!

Carissa said...

seriously...that sucks. and i don't understand it. cause i can TELL you are losing weight. it is VERY strange to me that the scale is not showing it. i hate scales. scales suck. but, you, YOU my friend, truly ROCK! really, you do.

Melissa @ Breath of Life said...

You know I'm praying!

R said...

just the fact that you've stuck to it this long is great! you're inspiring! and you're doing a great thing for your body. adding years to your life is way better than weighing less! not as instantly gratifying, i know... :0)

Sarah Markley said...

ohhhh, don't you dare give up!!

Kenna Sue said...

Hey, I just LOVE when people say "oh you're big-boned." Thanks. Like that helps. Big-boned? That means, even with 0% body fat, I'd still be huge. Nice. I've been watching my diet for a month, and nothing has happened here either.

Hang in there, A. (From my lips to God's ear, right?)

Kara said...

Ok. I am seriously impressed with you right now. After all that discouragement and screaming - I thought for sure I was going to hear that you were throwing in the towel. It says a lot about you that you are going to keep going and are determined to be the victor here. There is a wonderful quote I just read today and it goes like this - "You cannot consistently to right things and consistently get wrong results".

Hang in there sista!

Angie said...

It sucks...that's all! But you get an E for effort!

Ang

Fran said...

Well, an all time FAVORITE scripture and I completely understand the whole stupid metabolism thingy....I'll vomit all day long over that word. HATE IT!

Ok...so I'll say what I always tell myself..."this is fun right? Who cares if I don't lose any weight right?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Denise said...

your so funny and honest. you echo my struggle. i began running in march, and i too do not run, ugghh. didn't lose a lb, gained in fact...the "blah blah blah muscle weighs more than fat" weight. i think i should have measured myself. i know my legs looked less cottage cheesy than usual (i can't believe i just shared that... kinda makes me want to vomit, literally). but here is the thing, i did quit, ughhh! need some motivation. want to come to cali. and run with me!

Janelle said...

WHATEVER!! :)

Suzi said...

Alana!
You are beautiful, you can do it and I don't feel like you vomited on me:)

And I would gladly let you vomit on me if it made you feel better LOL! That's what bloging friends are for!!

Lynn said...

Oh girl, that is just wrong! You've been robbed. Go ahead, this is the proper occasion for some good old fashioned fussing. Way to go for not giving up! You are beautiful.

Short Stop said...

I hate scales. Hate 'em. They're evil.

You go, girl. Don't give up! I LOVE the verse you quoted. One of my favorites.

Julie said...

I'm glad you are sticking with it. I have experienced the very same thing and Bryan always tells me I gain muscle first, especially when working out!! It is a vicious commitment!!

Pam said...

I love that verse...I love to picture God upholding me in his mighty hand. He IS upholding you, He will strengthen you and help you!!

BethAnne said...

Well, I have to say that when I turned 35 my metabolism stopped completely -I just look at food and gain weight --- things arent as easy as they used to be when I was younger - losing 5 lbs now takes the same amount of effort that it used to take me to lose 20 (well, you get my meaning). I feel your pain --- if we were neighbors I would so walk around the block with you and talk about how we hate gaining weight.

Sing4joy said...

stinky lackaworky!!

Kelly N said...

I am sooo totally hearing you. I burned almost 800 calories last week in my first 2 smart curves workouts, was all pumped to go today and now I feel like my throat has been run over with sandpaper. I will press on and I know you will too! Thanks for the verse. I needed the encouragement as well.

Kristen said...

DO NOT GIVE UP! You will get there -it is a battle and a struggle daily. I have found the farther I get from 30 and the closer I get to 40 - the harder it is.... so frustrating!!!

When I started running and training for the marathon, I gained 6 lbs. Yep, 6 lbs. I was kicking and screaming and so frustrated. It did finally come off and some other weight but I still have 5-8 lbs to lose that just won't budge. I am hanging in there with you.

Thanks for being so open and honest - and quite funny!

Bev Brandon said...

Wow 30 comments!
You struck a nerve!
Some nerve that Satan thinks he can get you discouraged.
So why were you doing it?
You have done what you set out to do and did it well. Success isn't always results, is it? Obedience doesn't guarantee results/blessings. Who did you do it for? You're further along! And you are doing it to take care of yourself. Way to go girl!

Sara Carmichael said...

Gosh, we've all been there at some point, I'm sure. Your sentiments express EXACTLY how we all have felt. Thank you for the vomit!! No complaints here! :) I love the verse tagged on at the end...reminds me of David. Reminds me of a post I wrote a few days ago, http://saracarmichael.blogspot.com/2008/09/indelible-etchings.html.

He is faithful, even when everyone or everything else is NOT!!

I'm Tara. said...

Okay - I'm only laughing because this is what happened to me last fall, but it ended up being because I was pregnant. Have ya checked that one out? :)

If not, I vote for some serious packing on of the lean, mean muscle machine. Stay strong, sister. I'm getting back in the game myself!