Monday, June 30, 2008

The Longest Week of My Life...

...or at least since the last time I attempted the big D. You know that nasty little, HORRIBLE LITTLE, NO GOOD WORD?

DIET

Ick. It makes cringe just looking at it. By the way, if you are "one of those people" who have never experienced said word, you can just scoot on out of here and eat a twinkie or something because this post is not for you. No offense, but just a tad bit of bitterness. Sorry.

SO. I've been on "the D word" for a week now and can I just say UGH? Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh. And one more UGH in caps and bold just for emphasis. Thank you.

Sorry, where was I going with this? Oh, yes, I've been on the Big D for a week now and it seriously does seem like it has been SO MUCH LONGER. You see, I am no stranger to "the D word". I have struggled with my weight pretty much all my life and mostly I've lost, not weight, unfortunately, the battle. There have been a few brief (and glorious times) in my life that I have gained the upper hand, but mostly I've just struggled. Not trying to turn this into a sob story or anything, I'm just giving you a little history. To quote the older lady I met in the grocery store line yesterday as we were chatting about parenting, "Let's just say, I know how the game is played.". Isn't that a classic quote? I think it will be permanently added to my repertoire.

I know you all are hoping I get to the point sometime soon. Trouble is I'm not sure I have one. And I'm pretty certain I can't tie this up in a pretty little bow. I'd love to say that I'm super excited about this "lifestyle change" and that I'm feeling so much better with all this "healthy eating", and promise to update you with my progress each week. But it just doesn't work that way for me. As much as I want to be one of those people eating twinkies right now, just as I slide into my size small jeans, I'm just not. It's a strenuous daily battle...mentally, physically, and spiritually. Wow. Look at that. Somewhere among all this rambling, I've stumbled upon the TRUTH. This is an area of my life I have yet to find victory in. A serious stronghold. No, it is not news to me, I guess I just forget sometimes. I know I am not alone in this. So maybe this is where I can draw back in you skinny twinkie eaters (if you didn't heed my warning and run far, far away). Chances are you have another stronghold you are longing to be free from. It's just different from mine. And I can respect that. I guess we're all in this together after all.

So. Tell me. Where do we go from here?

23 comments:

Kenna Sue said...

Like you, I have struggled all my life with weight and the D word. At one time in my life, just 4 years ago, I lost 65 pounds. My body said "no more for now." I've kept off 45 of those 65 I lost, but that 20 - UGH. I want to be healthier more than anything else these days.

So, what I did back then to lose weight is what I'm doing now, only someone else figured it out and actually wrote a book about it. It's the No S Diet. No sweets, no seconds, no snacks EXCEPT on days that start with S and Special Days (like holidays). It works. I have found that I can wait until Saturday and Sunday to splurge a little. I find that I eat better, too, and not so much junk. It's worth a try and not nearly as frustrating as other diets. Also, I've found that after the first week or two, the snacks and sweets and seconds weren't so needed or wanted anymore. If you think that might help you, then try it. I'll keep you in my prayers, as I know what a struggle it is. And by the way, you look WONDERFUL just as you are.

Keep me posted on how you're doing.

Colored With Memories said...

I was just relieved the D word was Diet...in these parts, the big D is DALLAS...and seeing you were just here, I thought you meant you had an awful time...seeing that vacations don't usually seem like long weeks!

Blessings for the diet. We too made a "lifestyle change" about 3 weeks ago...no fried foods or refined sugars...I'm 9 pounds lighter and my hubby almost double that. It sucks that men respond so much more quickly!

Anyway, you don' look like you need to lose an ounce, but there is hope if you are trying!

Gray Matters said...

I hear ya . . . I was able to eat twinkies and get into tiny jeans up until 7 years ago when I was pregnant with my first. I joined Weight Watchers this past week because I just realized that I way as much now (3 months after having Kale) as I did when I went into labor (at 42 weeks pregnant with Ellie) as I do today. I know it is going to be a long battle because truthfully for the last seven years I have eaten whatever I want - whenever I want.

I'm thinking about starting a "fat-bottom" girls blog to help stay motivated and track my progress. My goal is to be wedding weight by next July 31st - our 10 year anniversary!

Kenna Sue said...

Just read Gray Matters comment and it made me think of that Queen song "Fat Bottom Girls" - they make the rockin' world go 'round. Heh.

Carissa said...

don't i wish i knew...all i can say is...i'm with you my friend.

BethAnne said...

Maybe you and I are long lost sisters, ya think? I am so with ya on the D thing. I like what Kenna Sue said about "No S diet" - makes sense to me ---the only problem is I have an issue when it comes to the no sweets part.....

Gotta GROW with it said...

oh girl...i love your heart and i feel your pain. i have gone to such extremes and even to the point of anger that i just eat whatever cuz i'm mad.

i did find something that worked for me...i lost 25lbs and gained it back within 2 months. talk about discouraging. so i suppose now i have the knowledge, just need the endurance.

most of all, i don't want to be size zero. i do want to be healthy. but i desperately wish i could look in the mirror and be in love with myself like God is. we are too hard on ourselves too much. i wish food didn't control me like it does.

bottom line...keep giving it back to HIM. i think somewhere in that "curse" that adam/eve were given after they left the garden...weight struggle was somewhere had to be included in all that.

*BIG HUGE HUGS to you.*

Darlene R. said...

Oh, I just want to hug your neck right now! The battle is so constant and can be discourging, SO discouraging.

I wish I could give you some magic formula, but I don't think there is one. At least not one that includes everything we love!

My struggle right now is that so many people have said how proud they are of me for losing the weight that I am afraid to gain a single pound back! I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing! One thing it is though is STRESSFUL!

Love ya!

Rochelle said...

We share strongholds. But I have to tell ya, you look much better while struggling than I, my friend! And these last two weeks... let's just say a big UGH and leave it at that!! But you can do it! Then post your secret to victory for the rest of us!

Jamie said...

I feel it too. I have such bad habits and I don't really want to break them. But, I also don't want to weigh as much as I do now. I am trying to remember that God loves me the way I am, but He wants me to take care of myself.

Shelley said...

Well, you KNOW how I feel about it friend! I'm so proud of you for making it for ONE WHOLE WEEK! "Cause you know, one week of dieting = at least a month of real time. At least I think so.

I'm just glad I have a friend to exercise with. A non-small size jean wearing, non twinkie eating because it doesn't matter, friend!

Becoming Me said...

I never had to diet until recently. I was always a skinny mini and then went up 3 dress sizes in 6 months. Not good. So I too started a diet 2 saturday's ago. I eat a lot less and exercise a lot more and the results..I don't see any and talk about bitter...

By the way, I have a surprise for you. CHeck out my blog anytime after 6 am EST tomorrow to read what it is.

Celeste said...

I think everyone suffers from addiction. It may be food, alcohol, medications, shoppping, etc. There is a root of the problem that goes far beyond what the actual addiction is, in my opinion. Like the wilson lady getting her stomach stapled, but then being crippled with a drinking addiction.

Some addictions aren't as public as others. Some can be hidden easier. But no one is perfect, and I'm sure your children would much rather have a mother that enjoys food a whole lot than a mother that is addicted something that would interfere with you as a person.

Seriously, I see some MESSED up mothers, and I see the heartache of their children when they are taken into state custody. I know those kids probably pray every night that the biggest problem their mother struggles with is the urge to eat a twinkie.

You are an amazing, beautiful woman. Your husband and children are very blessed to have you.

EVERYONE struggles with insecurities. I have spent so much time and money trying to get rid of my pimples, but they keep coming back. I wish my boobs were bigger. I wish I didn't have stretch marks.

Everyone has their struggles. Some are honest about it, and others hide them and try to act perfect and make others feel like a pile of poop.

Kristen said...

I do not like that "D" word either! This has been a struggle for me since having kids, especially since number 3 - not sure if it is getting older or what but I hear your UGH all the way in ID!

You are beautiful inside and out! Just take one day at a time... Praying for you!

Angie said...

I oughta be hangin' from a charm bracelet by now! I've lost so many pounds over the years. I've battled my whole life too...I feel your pain!

My goal is 25 by the BIG 25th! (Christmas) It's about a pound a week! I've got to get ready to climb the Great Wall of CHina!!

Let's pray each other through! We can do it!

Kelly N said...

I never really stuggled with my weight until I met my hubby, and I got comfortable in our relationship. Then I hit 30, and it was all downhill from there. I, too, am trying to take off the weight as I know I want to be healthy for the adoption. 6 pounds off this summer, but it has been a daily struggle. Seems like I exercise like a maniac, and it just goes nowhere, but I feel better about myself. Think I need to try Susie's advice and do the "S" diet. Keep your chin up Alana, and we can all pray for positive change in our lives.

Laney-Lou said...

Oh man Alana, you've got that right...EVERYONE has their stongholds. To be completely honest, exercising is one of mine. I HATE IT and my asthmatic lungs hate it too. ICK! But I know in order to stay healthy, it's a must. And as silly as it may seem relating this to diets, God is the only person who can help you persevere. I know in times of struggles for me where I feel like I can't get hold of it at all, taking God as my partner changes everything!

So where do you go from here? (And me saying this doesn't at all imply that you haven't already done this!) Take God as your "Diet Buddy"! If you think about it, He has more self-control over anyone! So when it gets really tough and you don't want to work out or you really want that twinkie, imagine God standing there as stubborn as all get out refusing that twinkie, grabbing you by the hand, and pulling you on your feet to go exercise!!! hehe

Who knows...it might work! I'm SO proud of your week down...you can DEFINITELY make it two!!

~Laney

Teresa said...

Well, you know I'm in the same darn place!! We've had many a conversation about this topic. Tony and I started the Big D when we got back from vacation. UGH!!! What really gets me is the fact that I work so darn hard to get the weight off... why do I ever let it creep back on? And, after the baby... forget. My body is not the same. You hit the nail on the head with the TRUTH! This is a struggle we must give to the Lord daily. Love you and wish I was closer so we could commiserate in person!!

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

I'm with you, girl. All the way. The worst is when you deprive yourself of the yummy stuff and the scale still doesn't budge.

mamachristina said...

tweak your plan to make it so you aren't feeling deprived and still get results. Not always easy but a little research might alieve some frustration. god bless,

Janelle said...

I love you!

dawn said...

right there with you, sister.

michelle said...

Alana you are beautiful! If there is anything I can do to support you please let me know!